Atomic Essay 3: Why the F**K Do They Tell You to “Romanticize Your Life”?

Rachna Sekhrajka
2 min readSep 20, 2023

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Behavioural scientist telling you to buy that coffee — 1. Economist telling you to save those $7 – 0

Photo by Katarzyna Grabowska on Unsplash

Nicholas Epley is a renowned behavioral scientist at the University of Chicago.

According to Epley, a happy life is not solely contingent on major, life-changing events or singular, intense moments of joy. Instead, he emphasizes the importance of the frequency of positive events, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant they may be. This perspective suggests that accumulating a multitude of positive experiences, even if they are modest in scale, contributes significantly to overall happiness.

Why is this the case? The explanation lies in how we evaluate our experiences and set expectations. When we place all our hopes and aspirations on one significant positive event or outcome, we inadvertently create a high standard for happiness. We raise the bar for what qualifies as a genuinely positive experience, making it easier to be disappointed.

For instance, if we pin our happiness solely on getting a promotion at work or achieving a specific life goal, we set ourselves up for potential disappointment if those expectations are not met. The intense positive emotions we anticipate may not always materialize, leaving us feeling unfulfilled and discontented.

On the other hand, when we appreciate the small, everyday positive experiences, we lower the threshold for happiness. These tiny moments, such as a friendly conversation with a colleague, a beautiful sunset, or a comforting cup of tea, may not be as grand as landing a dream job or winning a major award, but they contribute to a steady stream of positivity in our lives. By acknowledging and relishing these small moments, we create a reservoir of happiness that continuously replenishes itself.

Time to create one of those how I romanticise my life pretentious reel on Instagram — only, not so pretentious anymore.

About my atomic essays: Let’s be informed, not influenced

As an adult, we stop asking questions. Or at least at the same frequency as we did as kids. I want to change that.

I want to ask more questions, and ask the right questions. These questions are not necessarily to find A RIGHT answer. They’re all about making me think more, reflect on things, and maybe even challenge some of the stuff I thought I knew.

I take it as a little adventure for my brain. Each question is like a puzzle piece, and when I put them together, they create a bigger picture of understanding. It’s a small step to become a bit better at life.

My atomic essays are a short explanation of what I learnt. Hopefully it also helps someone with something.

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Rachna Sekhrajka
Rachna Sekhrajka

Written by Rachna Sekhrajka

In permenant Beta Mode (learning, evolving, creating)

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